Unfortunately, people grow up, age, and change over time. This also applies to sexual preferences. What excited you in the early years of your relationship with your husband or wife might no longer hold the same interest today and may have become routine. If you understand what this means and want to learn how to spice up your sex life, use these tips from reputable sexologists.
Find Porn You Both Enjoy
Whether you’re new to it or an experienced aficionado with a vast collection of X-rated videos, discussing porn with your partner can be both enlightening and arousing.
By now, porn, like the entire film industry, has come a long way and become much more diverse and high-quality. There is now a huge variety of adult films available on the internet, from steamy, low-budget flicks to full-scale cinematic projects featuring pirate ships, space odysseys, and even Hollywood-style special effects.
For porn beginners, psychologists recommend the “XXX parody” category, as the combination of humor and hot sex helps spice up the sex lives of long-term couples.
Dive into the Kama Sutra
Even if you know what it is, google “Kama Sutra” – seriously, it can provide plenty of new ideas and help refresh your memory on well-known sexual positions from the legendary love manual.
Flip through the pictures with your husband or wife, figure out what you can manage, and then challenge yourselves by trying a new position at least once a month.
Give Up “Fast Food” Sex
What makes sex super erotic and enjoyable largely depends on how well you know each other, how much you care for each other, and how willing you are to invest in each other’s pleasure.
However, the habit of having quick sex just before work or sleep often leads to a loss of proper enjoyment.
While quick and restrained sex can sometimes be great, a more prolonged session brings greater rewards in terms of intimacy and pleasure.
Create a Sex Menu
One of the most common text messages exchanged between spouses is “What’s for dinner?” That’s why sexologists recommend thinking about a different type of menu to spice up your sex life.
How to do it? It’s very simple! Each partner writes three desires they’d like to be appetizers, three desires for the main course, and three desires for dessert. Then the couple reads each other’s menus, discusses, and agrees on the “dishes” they will try that day.
Still not clear? Here’s a sample sex menu:
Appetizers:
- Foot massage
- Blindfold
- Nipple play
Main Course:
- Oral sex
- Anal sex
- Vibrator play
Dessert:
- Spanking
- Back massage
- Tender cuddling
Switch Up the Timing
You and your partner might be night owls who get aroused before bed or early birds ready for lovemaking at dawn. However, to diversify your sex life, experts recommend changing the time you have sex.
If you’re used to having sex at the same times due to a convenient schedule, try making love when you have less time. Always save sex for the evening? Then try it in the morning.
The key is that doing something differently increases the level of pleasurable excitement.
Switch Roles as the “Giver” and “Receiver”
If one of you tends to give more than the other, and it works well for your relationship, that’s great. However, to gain a unique erotic experience and spice up your sex life, switch roles occasionally.
Decide which sexual role each of you will “play” today, and then spend the next day swapping roles.
Often, people get stuck in the roles they play in bed, as well as in the expectations they believe their partner has of them. This creates obstacles that hinder complete relaxation and pleasure.
Take Sex Out of the Bedroom
Sometimes sexual arousal doesn’t happen in the bedroom with lit candles, or when you feel like the most attractive person alive.
You might come back after a long day at work or from the gym, see your partner sitting on the couch or stirring tomato sauce, and suddenly feel like jumping them.
The moral of the story is this: sex doesn’t have to happen under ideal conditions. Trust your desires and go with the flow.
Discuss Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
If you visit a doctor twice a year or meet with your boss once a week, then why not dedicate time to have an open conversation with your husband or wife regularly, to discuss relationships and sexual pleasures?
Leading American psychologists and sexologists suggest having an open conversation about this once a month.
Talk about possible issues in sex and start looking for solutions immediately, rather than waiting for two years when the tension has already built up.
Don’t be shy about masturbation
Many people hide the fact that they masturbate in their free time. Therefore, if you have never discussed masturbation with your partner (let alone masturbating together), why not talk about it? Especially since conversations about each other’s masturbation preferences can be very arousing.
Don’t hesitate to broaden the horizons of sexual self-expression, much of which involves masturbation.
Share your sexual fantasies
Instead of scrolling through Instagram every night before bed, allow yourselves the time to occasionally incorporate discussions about sexual fantasies into your evening routine.
Over time, your partner’s sexual preferences may evolve, and in long-term relationships, you might not notice these changes. Therefore, conversations about sexual fantasies not only spice up your intimate life but also bring you closer together again.
You can write down your fantasies on pieces of paper, put them in a box of desires, and then periodically draw from there to try something new or simply discuss them.
